By Leah Caldwell | Family & Children | June 2024

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What can I do if I am denied access to my child?

Being denied access to your child can be a challenging experience. Such situations can lead to significant emotional distress for both the parent and the child. Mediation, however, offers a constructive way to resolve disputes.

If your ex partner is denying you access to your child, this guide helps you explore your options. From tips to communicate with your ex partner, to using child mediation to come to an agreement, and ultimately, how to pursue legal action if necessary.

Each option is designed to help you navigate through this challenging time with the aim of restoring your connection with your child and improving communication with your ex.

Firstly, speak with your ex partner

If possible, speak with your ex partner to understand the reasons behind their decision to deny access to your child. It’s important to approach this calmly and respectfully.

Start by expressing your feelings clearly and concisely. It's vital to articulate how the lack of access affects you and your relationship with your child. However, while sharing your perspective, ensure you remain open and receptive to listening to your ex-partner’s concerns as well. Understanding their side of the story can provide valuable insights into their decisions and behaviours.

Effective communication is key in resolving conflicts and can significantly contribute to a smoother negotiation process.

Here are a few tips on how to approach the discussion:

• Choose the right time and place: start the conversation at a time and place where both of you can speak without interruptions or emotional distress.
• Stay calm and composed: maintain a calm approach throughout the conversation. Avoid raising your voice or displaying anger, as it can escalate tensions.
• Be prepared: know what you want to say ahead of time. Outline your key points if necessary to ensure you cover everything important without the conversation going off track.
• Express the importance of co-parenting: emphasise how maintaining a cooperative co-parenting relationship is beneficial for your child’s wellbeing.

What can I do if I am denied access?

If direct communication with your ex-partner does not resolve the access issues, there are several formal steps you can take to seek resolution. Understanding and navigating these options effectively can help you to re-establish the connection with your child.

Try child mediation

Before pursuing any legal action, consider child mediation. Mediation is a form of non-court dispute resolution (NCDR) that aims to help disputing parties reach a consensus outside of court. It’s a voluntary process that allows both parents more control over the outcome, unlike in a court case, where a judge will make the final decision.

The process involves a neutral third party who helps both parents come to an agreement on arrangements relating to children. It is more collaborative than court proceedings and often less expensive and quicker.

Here’s how it works:

• Find a qualified mediator: look for mediators who specialise in family disputes, such as Mediation First. They are trained to handle sensitive issues surrounding child access and custody.
• Prepare for mediation: gather all relevant information and documents relating to your child’s care and your previous involvement. Clearly outline your desired outcomes but remain open to compromise.
• Engage in the mediation process: during mediation sessions, actively participate and use the opportunity to express your concerns and listen to the other party. Mediators can facilitate negotiations and help both parties reach a mutually acceptable agreement.

Complete a C100 form

If mediation fails or is deemed inappropriate, the next step is to fill out a C100 form to apply for a court order. This form is used to apply for a child arrangements order, which is necessary when you cannot agree on parenting arrangements.

This order determines where your child lives, when your child spends time with each parent, and other specifics regarding parenting time and conditions.

Here’s a look at what the C100 form involves:

• Purpose: the primary function of this form is to request the court's assistance in establishing, enforcing, or changing a child’s living arrangements. It covers various scenarios, including where the child will live (formerly known as a residence order) and whom they will visit and when (formerly known as a contact order).
• When to use: this form is necessary when parents are unable to come to an agreement on how to care for their child after separating or divorcing. It is also used if a previous agreement needs to be modified due to changing circumstances.

Completing the C100 Form

Completing the C100 form requires:

• Personal details: personal information about yourself, the other parent, and any other relevant parties, such as step-parents or grandparents.
• Child’s details: information about your child or children, including their current living arrangements and the nature of their relationship with both parents.
• Details of the dispute: explain the issues in dispute, including specific details about what you are seeking through the court's intervention and why.
• Previous court orders: if there have been previous court orders regarding child arrangements, these must be disclosed and attached.
• Mediation: the form asks whether you have attended a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM), as this is generally a prerequisite before proceeding to court. If a MIAM was not attended, you must provide a valid exemption and provide evidence.

Apply for a child arrangements order with your C100 form

If negotiations and mediation do not result in a resolution, or if you need to formalise a legal agreement to see your child, applying for a child arrangements order through the court may be necessary.

This order is a legal binding outcome issued by the court that determines where your child should live, how and when the child should have contact with each parent, and other specific aspects of the care and upbringing of the child.

A court will not make an order in relation to a child unless there is a need to do so (what is known as the ‘no order principle) and, following changes to the Family Procedure Rules, will want to see that clients have considered all options in relation to non-court dispute resolution.

The court always puts the child's best interests first (the ‘welfare principle’). Unless the child is at risk of harm or danger, there is a presumption that involvement with both parents will be in a child’s best interests.

When can the court stop me from having access?

The court can legally stop a parent from having access to their child if they believe there are reasonable concerns over the child’s welfare. Concerns may include:

• Criminal activity
• Domestic abuse
• Drug or alcohol abuse
• Inappropriate behaviour that puts the child at risk

If the other parent believes you are engaging in any of the above activities, they may choose to oppose any court applications you make by providing evidence.

What are my rights to see my child?

All parents have legal rights and responsibilities known as ‘parental responsibility’. This concept means that you are legally recognised as a primary caretaker and decision-maker for your child, giving you the right to make decisions about your child’s welfare, education, and health.

If one parent denies or controls the other parent's access to their child without a court order, and the latter parent has parental responsibility (PR), they have no legal ground to do so. Essentially, without a court's order, both parents with parental responsibility have equal rights to see and make decisions for their child.

How family mediation can help

Facing challenges in gaining access to your child can feel daunting, but you have options. Our expert mediators are here to guide you through every step, helping you explore every possible avenue to restore your connection with your child. Explore our family mediation services. - find out how we can help you resolve disputes amicably.

Learn about child mediation options - understand how mediation could be the key to maintaining your parental rights and your child’s wellbeing.

Contact us

To find out more about mediation for divorce, or enquire about mediation sessions, speak to our team to get started.

Tel: 0330 320 7600
Email: office@mediationfirst.co.uk.