By Leah Caldwell | Parenting and divorce | September 2024

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Reasons to Stop Child Contact

Ideally, both of a child's parents would be equally involved in caring for them. However, everyone's circumstances are different and the best child arrangements for one separated family may be completely different to the next. But one thing that all parties should agree on and the most important thing to consider is the child's welfare and best interests. In certain situations, there may be valid reasons why contact between a child and a parent has been stopped.

In this blog, we will look at the legitimate reasons to stop child contact, but we will also explore inadequate grounds to stop child contact and what you can do if you are being denied access.

What is child contact?

When parents separate, there will typically be decisions to be made concerning the time that a non-resident parent spends with a child. This is usually described as ‘child contact’ (noting that the term ‘contact’ is, in fact, outdated terminology in the relevant legislation and has been replaced with the more general phrase ‘child arrangements’). Child contact can be direct (i.e., face-to-face) or indirect (via telephone, video call or letter).

Parents typically (but not always) have parental responsibility for for their children, which is the collective name for the legal rights and responsibilities you have as a parent. The word ‘responsibility’ was specifically used as a way of helping parents to focus on the obligations that they have towards their child rather than ‘rights’, which are proprietary.

Responsible parenting will usually involve promoting a child’s relationship with a non-resident parent and facilitating contact. That being said, if contact with one parent is harmful to a child, this may provide legitimate grounds for contact to be stopped.

Legitimate reasons to stop child contact

Here at Mediation First, we want to make clear that stopping the contact of a child with any of their parents should not be taken lightly. The involvement of both parents in a child’s life is presumed to further the welfare of the child (section 1(2A) Children Act 1989). This presumption does not apply, however, where there is evidence that the involvement of a parent puts a child at risk of suffering harm (section 1(6) Child Act 1989).

Harm is legally defined as ‘ill-treatment or impairment of health or development’ (Children Act 1989) and includes all forms of abuse and neglect. It is not within the remit of this blog to consider specific examples of parental behaviour that would fall within this category as each case will depend on the particular circumstances involved. Further information regarding types of abuse and neglect, together with details of what action should be taken if you believe a child is at risk of harm, can be found on the NSPCC website.

How to explain changes in contact time to your child

If there are legitimate reasons why a parent cannot see their child any more, it can be tricky to explain this to your child, especially if they still want to see the other parent. Keep in mind your child’s age when you explain why things have to change, and make sure they know it’s not their fault.

Allow your child to express their feelings, as it may be a loss to them. It is best if they don’t overhear friends or family saying negative things about their other parent, as they could feel hurt and confused.

Inadequate grounds to stop child contact

Any parental activity which does not put the child at risk of harm should not be used as a reason to stop child contact.

A few reasons that may not be valid for stopping child contact include:

• Divorce, separation, or breakup of parents.
• A parent refusing to pay child maintenance.
• A parent is sometimes late picking up or dropping off the child.
• A parent does not see the children regularly, even though the parenting plan or court decision states that they should.

Stopping a fathers access to a child

Following a divorce, separation or breakup, it is quite common for a mother to stop the father from seeing their child. However, fathers have the same rights as a mother and vice-versa. As detailed above, however, parents' rights should be considered as secondary to their responsibilities towards their children and responsible parenting will usually involve promoting contact with the other parent unless there is a risk of harm to a child.

What if I have been stopped from seeing my child?

If you have been stopped from seeing your child due to legitimate concerns, this may mean your child is unsafe around you. Get the support you need from a charity or professional organisation. Whilst doing this, document the support that you are receiving through letters, emails, and certificates.

However, if there are no legitimate reasons, you should talk to your ex-partner and work together to agree on new arrangements to avoid the time and expense of a court case.

If this doesn’t work, consider mediation.

Consider mediation

Mediation can play a key role in resolving child arrangement disputes. The process is designed to help parents communicate more effectively and find a solution that works for everyone, especially the child.

The mediator will facilitate discussions to provide a structured environment to guide the conversation and ensure both parents have a chance to voice their concerns and suggestions. We listen to both sides of the story and do not make decisions but instead, help parents reach an agreement.

We will then draft a summary document to provide both parents with a clear and easy-to-understand plan, which leaves no room for confusion for both parties.

What happens if you can’t come to an agreement

If you can’t reach an agreement on child contact through our mediation services, you may want to consider a court application. However, this should be the last resort.

It is likely that you’ll be required to prove you have attempted mediation by attending a mediation information and assessment meeting (MIAM), if you want to take the case to court.

Often, mediation can be less stressful and financially draining than going through the court process.

Contact our family mediation team

At Mediation First, our expert family mediators will help you through the process of resolving child contact disputes, through child mediation services.

For tailored guidance and to explore mediation options,contact us today.

Tel: 0330 320 7600
Email: office@mediationfirst.co.uk.